One of the reasons that makes a person survive and continue to live in this world is because they want to survive because of their loved ones. Whether it is family, wife, children, or their parents. Of course it is based on something called love. In psychology there is a separate definition and theory of love. Love is a strong emotional feeling full of affection for someone that is positive and has a positive influence (if the individual implements love according to its true meaning) for the individual which is a combination of various feelings, desires, and thoughts that occur simultaneously. According to Stenberg (in Sternberg and Barnes, 1988) suggests that love has three main forms (three components), namely: intimacy (intimacy), passion (passion), and a decision or commitment (decision/commitment).

Familiarity or intimacy

Intimacy is a feeling in a relationship that increases closeness, attachment, and connectedness. In other words, intimacy implies an element of affection that encourages individuals to always have emotional closeness with their loved ones.

The results of research by Sternberg and Grajeg (in Sternberg and Barnes, 1988) show that familiarity includes at least ten elements, namely:

  1. Desire to increase the well-being of loved ones
  2. Experience happiness with loved ones
  3. Appreciate the person he loves as high as possible
  4. Can rely on loved ones in times of need
  5. Have mutual understanding with loved ones
  6. Sharing himself and his belongings with loved ones
  7. Receive emotional support from loved ones
  8. Provide emotional support to loved ones
  9. Communicate intimately with loved ones
  10. Make the loved ones important in your life

Passion

Passion includes a deep longing for union with a loved one which is an expression of sexual desire and need. Or in other words that passion is a physiological element that causes a person to feel physically close, enjoy or feel physical touch, or have sexual intercourse with his life partner. The passion component also refers to the drive that leads to romance, physical attraction, sexual consumption, and feelings of liking in a romantic relationship.

Decision or Commitment

The decision or commitment component of love contains two aspects, the first is the short-term aspect and the second is the long-term aspect. The short-term aspect is the decision to love someone. While the long-term aspect is a commitment to maintain that love. Or in other words that commitment is a person’s determination to stay with something or someone until the end.

These two aspects do not have to occur simultaneously, and it does not mean that if we decide to love someone it also means that we are willing to maintain the relationship, for example in a couple who live together. Or vice versa, we may be willing to be bound (committed) but do not love someone. This component is indispensable to get through difficult times. By better understanding and interpreting the meaning of love from a psychological point of view, of course it will make us understand more that the meaning of the word love is not as narrow as we know. Psychology provides a definition of love through a very detailed theory and can be understood by others so that they become a better person in the future.

References:

Hadianti, Karina Rahma. 2017. “The Triangular Love of Main Characters in E. L. James’ Fifty Shades Darker (2011)”. Jurnal Sastra. Vol. 6 (1).

Irmawati, & Saragih. (2005). Fenomena Jatuh Cinta Pada Mahasiswa. Jurnal Psikologi Fakultas Kedokteran Universitas Sumatera Utara, I.

Isneni, Shinta (2018) GAMBARAN TRIANGULAR THEORY OF LOVE STERNBERG PADA PASANGAN DEWASA AWAL YANG BERPACARAN. Skripsi thesis, Universitas Mercu Buana Yogyakarta. Diakses pada 15 Agustus 2022.

Sekti, ResaDwiCahyo (2014) Gambaran Cinta Pada Wanita Yang Menikah Karena Perjodohan (Dalam Kerangka Teori Segitiga Cinta Sternberg). Sarjana thesis, Universitas Brawijaya.

Sternberg, R. J. (1988). The Triangle of Love. New York: Basic Books.