Reward and Punishment is one of the educational methods that are often used by parents. Have you ever given a gift to children, when they achieved an achievement? Almost all parents must have done it. Children who get rankings in school, children who succeed in adding to their memorization of the Qur’an, or children who win in a sports competition, usually often receive gifts from their parents.
Reward has the meaning of gifts, wages and rewards given as a form of appreciation. It can be done by parents to appreciate the achievements of their children, or by teachers to encourage their students. Rewards can be in the form of goods, such as stationery, bicycles, or other school supplies. It can also be a treat to eat where the child wants. Giving rewards to children must be accompanied by understanding. Don’t let children become fanatics with rewards, and do everything with the expectation of rewards.
When giving rewards to children, it is best to adhere to the following rules, such as these:
– Do not give rewards to children too often, because it is feared that it will have a negative effect on children. Children become selfless, and can lose other positive motivations. Children will only try hard if they are lure there will be prizes. Of course this will be a bad habit for the development of the child’s character.
– Give rewards fairly to other children, so as not to cause envy among them. Set a limit on when rewards apply, and the maximum number of times a child can receive a reward. This is to anticipate social jealousy between children, between the brother and sister.
– When giving rewards, parents must also understand the child’s character. For young children, don’t make complicated promises when promising them rewards. Just promise a bar of chocolate, if the child can appear bravely during the show at school. Don’t promise too lavish rewards, even if your parents can afford it.
While punishment is a punishment that is given intentionally as a reward for a violation that has been committed. There are also parents who give punishment, because the child does not reach the expected target. They hope that this punishment will have a deterrent effect. Unfortunately, this punishment has a negative emotional effect on children. Especially for sensitive children. Children will feel sad, and become less confident.
If parents decide to give punishment to their children, they should look at and be guided by the following rules, such as:
– Avoid giving punishment in the form of physical treatment, because it will cause psychological trauma to the child. Children who receive punishment in the form of physical treatment, will store inner wounds for a long time. Not infrequently there are those who keep their inner wounds into adulthood. If there is no heart-to-heart talk with parents, this wound will continue to carry over. Therefore, parents should not give physical punishment to their children.
– Pay attention to the child’s age, character and error rate. Don’t give too much punishment to children. Younger children are simply punished by not watching their favorite movie, or by not giving them their favorite snack. Unlike the older children. Parents can give a slightly heavier punishment. For example, by cleaning the bathroom, reducing pocket money, or prohibiting going out.
– Provide punishment that is educational in nature, and does not physically burden the child. For example, cleaning up a messy room due to children inviting their friends to play in the room. Do not give punishment in the form of physical actions taken by parents on children. If you want to give corporal punishment, let the child do it himself. For example, by doing push-ups for a reasonable count, or running around the field. With a note, physical punishment is carried out by children who are accustomed to daily physical exercise.
– Avoid labeling children with words that are not good. Our society tends to label children with words such as spoiled children, lazy children, and other negative labels. Without realizing it, these words will stick in the child’s subconscious, so that they will become his character. Change the label into positive words, so that it will form a positive child’s character as well.
– Control emotions when giving punishment to children. If you’re still in an emotional state, it’s best to walk away first. Don’t do things that you will regret later.
– Giving punishment to children must be consistent and carried out with clear reasons. What rules are violated by the child, so that he gets punishment. One thing is for sure there must be an agreement between parents
Based on the above analysis, it can be concluded that the application of reward and punishment as a parenting education method is still relevant. With a note still pay attention to the rules that apply. Parents and teachers may give rewards and punishments to children, with the aim of educating children to be disciplined or to motivate children to do something to the maximum.